My mate needs a job.

I told him he should apply

for The Search And Rescue Team.

They're always looking for someone.

Did you hear about the mathematician

who was afraid of negative numbers ???

He would stop at nothing to avoid them .

I got really bored at the weekend

so I opened a box of Celebrations

and swapped all the wrappers around.

The missus wasn't very happy,

she got her Snickers in a Twix!

A penguin's car breaks down
on a hot summer day,
so he brings it to the walrus at the garage.

The walrus says he will take a look,
but it'll take some time to diagnose the issue.

The penguin decides to go for a short walk,
& buys himself a 99 cone.
He finished his last few licks
right as he makes it back to the shop.

The walrus says, "looks like you blew a seal".

The penguin replies, "what?
no, that's just ice cream"