PM Starmer is proving his worth at number 10 ,
He put the Christmas tree up himself ,
Kinky Bugger ,
And he didn't need the help of 3 Ukrainian
rent boys , this time .

Operation Yewtree has started up again ...
looking into historic crimes of Dame Thatcher ,
Apparently she fu€ked a lot of Minors in the 80's

I gave my handyman a to-do list,

but he only did jobs 1, 3, and 5.

Turns out he only does odd jobs.

What do you call a Blind deer ?

No eye Deer ,

What do you call a Deer that's Blind ,

with no legs ?

Still no eye Deer .

What do you call a Deer that's blind ,

with no legs & no Dick ?

Still no fucking eye Deer .

Good tip for this time of year ...

If your house is cold,

just stand in a corner.

It’s always 90 degrees there ,

Go upstairs - it will probably be higher .

I don't throw perfectly good food away .

I put it in Tupperware box ,

till it goes bad .

then I throw it away.

I've just been to a bestiality orgy.
Every man and his dog was there.

I've been feeling a little moody / grumpy,

and rundown lately.

So I looked up my symptoms...

It's adulthood,

I have adulthood .

A kid in a cloths shop ,
put his hand up a Mannequins dress,
his mum tells him not to,
as there are teeth up there,
Years later when the kid has a girlfriend
they start kissing,
when the girl asks the boy,
if he wants to touch her privates,
he says no because there are teeth up there,
she says don't be silly
and shows him her privates,
after looking for a bit ,
he tells the girl no wonder you have no teeth, your gums are in a terrible state .

15 years ago today ,

my mate John came running out shouting ,

'It's a boy' , 'It's a boy' .

with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

Got a new pen .

It writes underwater ,

It can also write other words ,

A man tells his wife, to get her coat ,

as he's going to the pub.

Oh good, 'am I coming with you' she asks.

No,

he replies, I'm turning the heating orf !