Whats black and blue and hates sex?

A rape victim

If I knew I was going to be this thirsty today...

Id've drunk more last night .

Down the pub last night -
I nearly had the Trivia Competition
done & dusted ,
till the very last question...
which apparently was wrong.
The question was,
"Where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently, the correct answer was
in the West Indies .

DAM ...

It's so cold outside ,

Starmer has his hands ,

in his own pockets .

Did you hear about the mathematician

who was afraid of negative numbers ???

He would stop at nothing to avoid them .

Hello I am sex joke

Hello I am illness joke

Sir Keir Starmer gets a phone call ...

It's his art dealer buddy who is with Keirs wife .

'Hi Keir ,
your wife has made a wise investment -
She's just invested £50,000 in some pictures ,
That could potentially be worth millions ,'

Keir reply's 'my wife is quite clever ,
How are they now worth millions from a £50,000 investment ?'

'they are pictures of you and your Ukrainian rent boys's ' ...

Silence .

Olympic Update:
Starmer gets gold ...
in the downhill Premiership .

Followed by Andrew ,
(Formally Known as 'Prince')
In the sliding downhill ,
Who came second for a change.
His Teddies got the medal ,
as he's not allowed one .

Hello this is a joke.

Bill Gates's Russian hookers ,

claimed they didn't know him ,

Then someone mentioned micro & soft ,

& they vaguely remembered ,

but it was definite ,

when they were shown a 3 1/4 inch floppy.

The Epstein files show Prince Andrew

"on all fours"

always knew he liked em young .